eoporto


  1. I HATE those pictures of seagulls eating people’s food, because one time, at the beach a seagull flew into my head and took my sandwich right out of my hand. It was roast beef with pepper jack cheese and I had been looking forward to it all day. Seagull bodies are bigger and heavier than you’d expect, especially when they are knocking into your head.

    IT WAS NOT FUNNY. I think I screamed, and almost cried. It scared me half to death, and I was still hungry.

    Actual text I sent: “A sea gull just hit my head and took my sandwich. Everything is ruined.”

    P.S. “Everything is Ruined” is my most overused expression.

    P.P.S Yes, almost cried, I was 23, so I tried to maintain a shred of dignity. Though, I don’t kow why I bothered.