February 2012
“Romney won Mackinac County by 1 vote. 667 votes to Santorum’s, wait for it, 666...”
– @chucktodd (via brooklynmutt)
Oh, Chuck Todd, I could not love you more.
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I do not like IHOP
I show affection with food.
Cooking is so much easier than words.
Anyway. Totally repurposing "manteresting" to...
Seriously, can we knock it the fuck off with...
I mean, maybe I should stop cursing and un-acquire a taste for rye and I should just stick to knitting and hold an aspirin between my goddamn knees so that men can feel like men and I can feel like a lady.
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“I think that there is no guarantee that “empowerment” will be...”
– Ta-Nehisi Coates
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I JUST THREW MY ARMS UP AND YELLED "WHAT THE FUCK"...
Newsflash assholes: This country was founded on Freedom, not family.
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The Best (Only) Time I Got Excited Over Floss
A couple of months ago I went to the dentist. My gums were attacked and my teeth got all sparkled and I received my free toothbrush with a bonus tiny toothpaste and travel floss; which I can only assume was my reward for having the most likely bleed-y gums in the history of mouths. I tossed everything in my purse, because that’s what I do with everything from restaurant matches to straw...
“I mean, I grew up in New York City, and I spent a lot of time hanging out on the...”
– Bobby Flay to Melanie Dunea in his interview about the music he’d choose for his “last supper.”
Nothing says sexy fun dance times like “Urban-style dancing music.”
“If an elementary school student has an excellent teacher even for a single year,...”
– Raj Chetty, professor of economics at Harvard’s Faculty of Arts and Sciences and a co-author of the study with Harvard Kennedy School’s John Friedman and Columbia Business School’s Jonah Rockoff. (Harvard Gazette)
“I slept like I was dreaming of snow.”
– Actual thought I had on the subway this morning, and a fairly good indicator of my acumen this morning.
The Sex Lives Of Presidents: William Howard Taft,...
briennewalsh:
Howard Taft did not have an exciting sex life because he was very, very fat.
What he did have was obstructed sleep apnea, roast beef, and a wife, Helen Herron, who was actually kind of a hot little piece.
It’s possible they had sex, but the physicality of it is baffling to me.
Read More
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You guys are hilarious.
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An incomplete list of things I like
When the subway switches from local to express.
Rye, hot water, lemon & a little sugar
Being called girl by a guy I’d like to be naked with
Knitting while watching tv
Tortellini soup
Patent leather high heels
Taking cabs over the Brooklyn Bridge
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This morning on the Today Show, they showed a...
So that’s how much I like basketball.
“There is something in there about a primal need – for comfort, for sustenance,...”
– Captain Awkward
“[Contraception is] not okay because it’s a license to do things in the sexual...”
– Rick Santorum
Bypass surgery is not okay because it’s a license to do things in the medical realm that are counter to how things are supposed to be.
Human flight is not okay because it’s a license to do things in the mechanical realm that are counter to how things are supposed to be.
Democracy is...
“The only time you hold hands is when you’re both reaching for the Ketel One at...”
– That’s How Love Goes by Zach Galifianakis
Go read the whole thing.
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I don't give a fuck if you [INSERT INANE FEELING...
People who claim they don’t need a commercialized holiday to remind them to treat their loved ones with care and affection are worse than people who don’t even own a television.
People who claim they don’t want their significant other to make a big deal about it probably cry over every Kay Jewelers commercial and have to schedule sex.
People who act like being...
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“Boston is really nice this time of year. Go there. But if you must come to NY,...”
– Best Yelp Response to “Going to New York City. What you do there?!” 