March 2011
I AM A FUN PERSON, GODDAMMIT.
For the first time in your life, you might have to make a conscious decision to be happy. You’ll have to actively work at maintaing a positive mindset, have to strain and sweat to even feel an ounce of “okay.” Before the terrible thing that happened to you, happiness was expected, an absolute guarantee. That was just one of the luxuries you lost.
- How to Grieve, The Thought Catalog
In 2009,...
I've made it on the internet!
I’m being personally insulted over here!
Arguably, I used some strong language over the whole “Be a slut, steal from a dude, help Japan” chart; but the fact that people are equating the fact that I drink beer in my avatar with a lack of self-respect is freaking me out right now.
BRB going to read a book.
Finally saw The Social Network. I'm glad no one...
Also, does anyone else thing Mark Zuckerburg has Asperger’s?
Ten Sexy Ladies: Thomas Jefferson →
tensexyladies:
T-Jeff looks a little like Robert Redford and a lot like a big slab of hot hunk, you ask me. I mean you know he was a full-on player. He had all kinds of fillies on the side. There were at least a couple dozen slave kids running around Monticello with his face. But when you’re sporting a kisser…
Best thing I read today.
“Have an underwhelming Internet presence. “Like” things on Facebook like Minute...”
– How To Be Boring
Things I learned from going to college in...
1. How to hold an umbrella so it doesn’t flip inside out.
2. Never wear hoop earrings when it’s under 20 degrees.
3. Nothing is worse than an ice storm in April. Fucking April. That is seriously dismal.
4. Empanadas are delicious.
Telling someone who is upset to get some...
Hi. I’m a well-informed, fairly educated, literate adult. I do my best not to get upset about every little thing. Granted, I fail a lot, but that’s a different story. If I’m bummed because my boss is being a dick, don’t bring up Japan. If I’m a little unhappy that it snowed in March, how about shutting the fuck up about how people in North Dakota deal with that shit...
Things I have written today, Part II
That’s why he can’t have nice things, like your vagina.
RASPBERRY 4 LIFE. Marmalade looks like a mistake from Nickelodeon labs.
It’s a boner he wants you to land on.
“Make me feel better by letting me vent. I punctuate rants with “polite” questions I don’t want to hear the answer to so I look like I care”
Ugh, I am not nerdy enough to make that text look...
SADDEST FACE.
2 tags
Words about Art.
I am the proud owner of a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Advertising Photography. Also, in my possession is a minor in Communications, but don’t even get me started on the waste of time that was. That means the following conversation occurred shortly into my first visit home freshman year: me: This is what I’ve been working on. my dad (a businessman): That’s nice. What did you get? me: A B+ my...
On March 22, 1972, Congress sent the proposed...
I vacillate between finding it horrifying that this would fail just 40 years ago, and hopeful at how much can change in 40 years. (Fact via NYT email in my inbox)
On being a book worm.
Today was dreary. I was tired. I was alternately being obsessive about small events and incessantly thinking about my upcoming move. My left ear felt funny and I was tired. I spent another day working on a photo archive. There is a freelance emergency that I must attend to tonight, in as much as type changes to a hair project can ever constitute an emergency.
I rushed to the train and sat down...
“Someone should invent something to do with things you cannot use anymore but...”
– Love in the Time of Cholera, Gabrial García Márquez
See also:
“My hard drive is full of memories that will never be forgotten, but never quite remembered.” (via seoulbrother)
Kids today, they don't know how slutty they are!
It doesn’t matter if they’re 28 and talking about 18-year-olds, or 18 and talking about 14-year-olds, the story is the same. The funny thing, of course, is that 10 years ago, when those 28-year-olds were 18, older people (Tom Wolfe, for one) were writing and saying exactly the same things about them.
Go read the rest.
Relevant to my life right now, but in the opposite direction, wherein I...
In which I admit I thoughts about pop culture.
When I drive , I listen to the radio when I’m going to be in the car less than 30 minutes, which is about 90% of the time. Lately, Bruno Mars’ Grenade comes on A LOT. (Disclosure: I’m not a fan, and this gets changed with my fingers crossed for Taylor Swift or some awesome motown hit). I know that the song is supposed to be romantic in the 13yo ideal way where someone loves you so much they...
Murder, telegrams and waking up confused.
I dreamt last night that a murder got solved because of an anonymous telegram that a radio host received and accidentally read it aloud on air and the ensuing guilt at having falsely confessed ruined her ski trip and she confessed to what was an otherwise perfect murder. When I woke up I at first thought it must have been a news story I heard during a snooze cycle. Yes, I set a clock/radio...
Adorably Thin Walls
You should leave a totally hilarious note on their door in the morning.
dear assholes -
as we are adorably thin (don’t worry, we’re not anorexic or anything crazy!) your neighbors can hear you. (they sort of hate you).
xoxo the walls.
I offer really good advice on how to address fighting neighbors.
Thoughts from Today
Being a mom who works doesn’t make you a better person than a mom who stays at home and volunteers on the PTA. Thinking that does make you a worse person.
Maturity is knowing when you are just being a cranky bitch who’s just looking to pick a fight and avoiding that because it will not make you feel better.
New Order has never done anything to improve my mood ever and it’s certainly not...
There's a moment in every relationship when...
Anyway, I found out this weekend that two of best friends actually like shower sex.
“Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an...”
– John Steinbeck (via nedhepburn)
Also, I have a friend who had to google what to...
At first, I was all “WHAT THE HELL IS THIS” when I saw this Jezebel story about funeral etiquette.
But then I remembered I once attended an ACTUAL funeral as practice for inevitable funerals at which I would be a hysterical mess. It was a terrifically pragmatic decision.
(In case you were wondering, the answer was ruffles.)
Double Standards and Double Ds
Tony, 48, a web designer in St. Paul, who separated from his wife a few years ago after twenty years of marriage, echoes the thought. “I’ve always thought it’s really hot when women in porn movies say dirty stuff,” he says. “Usually, they’re just literally narrating the shit that’s happening, giving the play-by-play: ‘You’re fucking me! Your dick’s in my ass! I’m sucking your cock right...
Nerd admission - I've never used CliffsNotes.
Nerdier admission - I googled the appropriate apostrophe usage and space insertion for CliffsNotes
"If you haven’t already, get really into drugs....
- How to be an It Girl
Did you not drink as much as everyone else? Was...
When you agreed to go out to dinner with your friends, you implicitly agreed to the following social contract: “I, (your name), hereby agree that when the bill comes, I will pay my share of the bill, calculated as follows: Total cost divided by # of people, regardless of who got what and how many. I further agree not to publicly complain about this methodology, even if I get a little screwed,...
