Ladies, I don't have your numbers.
But I’ll drink enough for the three of us.
I'm sorry, but I couldn't help myself.
I will never yogurt all over the internet again. He really said all that stuff today.
It is one of my greatest desires that a World's...
I don't really feel all that much better today.
I am not sure what to do.
I was going to work from home this morning
But I forgot the files at work, so I’m going for a run and then going into work. I just want this week to be over.
The Bloomberg administration, which has struggled with a seemingly intractable...– - NYT I’m always fascinated with programs like this; the ones that save money, but seem illogical.
Elizabeth and the terrible, horrible, no good,...
Today fucking sucks and I’m near tears I’m so frustrated
Also, I have a stellar vocabulary.
I have pretty much reduced myself to a silly, popsicle and ice cream loving, totally uncoordinated girl. This is all technically true. But I swear, sometimes I’m smart and insightful and the opposite of stupid.
I’d rather be pleasantly surprised than fatally disappointed.” And...– Julia Glass, I See You Everywhere
As someone that's not anonymous on the internet,...
Between this resignation due to totally off color comments via Facebook and the twitter lawsuit, I’m left wondering how “private” we can really allow ourselves to think the internet is. I mostly think of these venues as personal and private, despite their slightly public venue - kind of like a conversation in a park. I don’t feel these things are indicative of a...
HOW ABOUT YOU LISTEN TO WHAT I AM ACTUALLY FUCKING...
Sometimes it occurs to me too late that perhaps...
Then I remember that I’m mostly out to amuse myself and don’t care all that much.
indefensible: The only reason I make fun of other people is because I’m pretty much perfect in every way. That’s fine. Please note, from now on I’ll be referring to you as Mary Poppins. I bet you can even fit a lamp in your messenger bag (or whatever man-purse is your preference.)
Teaching Sex Ed is not the same as rewarding kids...
Just so we’re clear. Anyhow, it’s not like abstinence-only education works, like ever.
I am slowly realizing that I am way more high...
I would normally post a chat here, but after I posted the longest (and most hilarious) chat ever with Detweiler on Friday, I’m trying to show some restraint.
This guy is a total fuckface and the desire to let...
By the way, my dessert was totally delicious.
Context: 3 Russian girls are sleeping at...
Elizabeth Oporto: Replace your wallet condom!
Elizabeth Oporto: It popped into my head while I was running
Brian Detweiler: Hahaha. I was just thinking that. Thanks. :-)
Elizabeth Oporto: hehe. Have fun tonight!
Brian Detweiler: The Russians are invading in a few hours!!!
Elizabeth Oporto: Yay!
Elizabeth Oporto: Put vodka in the freezer!
Brian Detweiler: I'm raising a red flag and "Erecting a monument to Lenin"
Elizabeth Oporto: Show them your "Bolshevik"
Brian Detweiler: The Proletariat are definitely taking down the Bourgeois tonight.
Elizabeth Oporto: Hopefully fellatio will be used in the coup d'etat
Brian Detweiler: Mr. Gorbachev is going to tear down that wall
Elizabeth Oporto: Penetrate his way to capitalism!
Elizabeth Oporto: This is making me laugh really hard
Brian Detweiler: Hehe. Me too
Brian Detweiler: Me too, Comrade, me too.
Elizabeth Oporto: hehehehehe
Elizabeth Oporto: We are sooo funny
Brian Detweiler: If only the world knew
Elizabeth Oporto: I wanted to make a blitzkrieg joke, but then I realized itd be inaccurate
Elizabeth Oporto: Maybe I'll tumblr it later
Elizabeth Oporto: And if its not factual its not funny
Brian Detweiler: Make sure to include the context
Elizabeth Oporto: That a bunch of potential hot Russians are sleeping with you tonight?
Brian Detweiler: Ok, one IS hot, the other two are probably hot.
Elizabeth Oporto: Drink til you are up for a foursome
Elizabeth Oporto: Be sure to employ the "wheelbarrow" position
Brian Detweiler: Oh man, I lol'd at the bar
Elizabeth Oporto: YES
Elizabeth Oporto: Good luck with the (pretend I'm using the russian word for girls here)
Brian Detweiler: Ok, have fun! Hopefully my Russians are fun too!
I want a glass of wine, a jelly doughnut and a new...
Instead, I’m going for a run, because a tiny part of me actually wants that more. I’m kind of frightening myself.
Taking a new hard line that news articles should not turn up on search engines...– - NYT - Good call, A.P. You wouldn’t want anyone picking up your stories. Especially not on the Internet, because that’d be downright silly.
My sister is hilarious.
Bridget: I just went to the Disney store to look for princess cups for us to use tomorrow* so we don’t lose our cups but couldn’t find any I liked. *Tomorrow is the big 100+ person family reunion that we have at my grandparents’ lake house. We have 3 kegs and 75lbs of sausage and peppers.
Sometimes the only thing left to do is put on sweatpants, and make a big bowl of...– me, with some help from the letter S
My status: kissing cardboard. because it's my job.
Brian: Why are you a cardboard licker?
me: We needed to make kiss prints for lipstick swatches
Brian: Don't get a paper cut
me: no tongue. very chaste
Brian: Make it slutty!
Brian: Rub your vag on it
Brian: Make vag prints.
Brian: Ok. Work time. Have fun pressing your vagina on cardboard.
me: OK. Have fun being a vagina
Filed with "Flats are sexy" and "Clumsy can be...
me: Am totally going to get my nails painted before my trip. Because that’s totally the kind of thing that’s impt to boys. him: Guys like that, believe it or not. I think I like it more actively, but it definitely has a psychological effect. It says that you take care of yourself, and that makes us more inclined to take care of you. me: Really? Noted. Also toes. him: It’s like,...
Flight Booked!– Oh hi, most fun sentence ever.