April 2009
March 2009
gordonshumway:
The morning I tossed out the picture of the Pachycephalosaurus, I woke up in the middle of the bed for the first time in years.
I think I have a crush on this sentence.
I just recieved an email from my dad with Re: Twitter. Once I started breathing again, I found out it was just an article about users monetizing Twitter.
Mostly, I’m surprised that this idea is working. But then again, I’m not using Twitter as a personal shopper.
“You broken? New boyfriend?”
Thanks to my lovely sister for sharing my break-up with the Korean lady at the nail salon, I got to hear this as my eyebrows were getting waxed. Because it really just makes it twice the fun.
And also, now I get to be paranoid about being “broken” for awhile.
But hey, my eyebrows look amazing
I'll never tell.
zolora:
Today I will write secret messages to some of you on Twitter and compile them here. Yes.
I don’t think we’d get along if we knew each other offline. You’re an interesting person and I’m glad I can know you this way.
I can never get a handle on what your deal is. Although that’s half the fun, I guess.
I want to be you when I grow up. You’re quickly turning into my biggest role model.
...
Some d-bag named Ernie Oporto stole eoporto for last.fm This bothers me more than it should, because I have it everywhere else on the stupid internet. So unless you’re living with Bert and his slammin awesome paperclip collection, I hate you.
“I have asked the employees of AIG Financial Products to step up and do the right thing,” Mr. Liddy told lawmakers. “Specifically, I have asked those who received retention payments of $100,000 or more to return at least half of those payments.”
Genuis plan there, Lid-ster. Because, your employees are a bunch of honest, do-gooders who will obviously feel compelled to do the right thing.
Starbucks Recession Plan →
Gee, omitting the prices from the menu is a great idea! With solid, infallible thinking like this, I can’t imagine why profits were down 97%.
Just so you know - I just changed this from whimsyful to eoporto, bc I’ve been hating that name for the last few months.
EDIT: not sure the right order to do this in, because I’m not that good at the internets apparently. so changing backwards, then forwards again. sorry.
JC Penny goes fur-free →
Umm, I’m pretty sure that whatever they were selling was faux-fur in the first place.
McSorley's →
Because some people have been drinking tiny beers for hours already.
I can almost hear the slurring of Danny Boy.
me & the art director, standing over a container...
me: these nuts smell like cellar.
him: huh?
me: like a basement.
him: let me smell. [pause] they do smell earthy and damp.
suddenly this conversation registers in my brain for what it is.
Learn to drink like a Draper.
insooutso:
Seriously, you’re already out with friends and you’re looking to catch a buzz. Learn to drink like a Draper. Get something on the rocks, neat, or with a splash of something. Man up and lay off the fruity/chocolaty/creamy shit.
yes please.
nick →
zolora:
milkglassmao:
weselec:
atsween:
inthefade:
secretdark:
nickdouglas:
That’s my username on Twitter! Did you know it’s dropped to the tenth result for nick on Google? That’s way too low for Nick Douglas to be! That’s why I, Nick, will make a video for every person who reblogs this.
The word “whore” is not accepted as an alternative.
There’d be better be dancing in mine....
Honesty is not always best →
Do not mention “safe word” to any place you wish to be employed, unless you will need one on the job.