TAFT HAVE YOU HEARD OF THIS STANDARD OIL BUSINESS yes, sir THEY’RE A MONOPOLY yes, sir THAT ISN’T SPORTING AT ALL no, sir BRING ME STANDARD OIL I’M GOING TO PUNCH IT MANFULLY IN THE FACE sir, Standard Oil is a trust, not a person you can’t punch a trust in the face OH CAN’T I TAFT, WATCH ME BECOME THE FIRST MAN TO PUNCH A TRUST IN THE FACE THEN WRITE IT DOWN IN YOUR OFFICIAL WHITE HOUSE NOTES “TODAY THE PRESIDENT PUNCHED A TRUST IN THE FACE” all right “QUITE SOUNDLY TOO” I will “WITH AN EXCELLENT RIGHT UPPER CROSS” yes, sir “CAN’T PUNCH A TRUST IN THE FACE” FORSOOTH I’M THE PRESIDENT I CAN PUNCH ANYTHING
“I think about, you know, Renisha McBride, who was shot to death standing on a man’s porch asking for help, and then I think about Christopher Knight and I think, man, these are two sides of the same shitty coin.”—Mallory Ortberg
What fucks me up about the Darren Wilson fundraiser is that he hasn’t been charged with a crime. He doesn’t have to hire a lawyer. He’s on paid leave, so he’s not losing wages. This is not covering his expenses, because he doesn’t have any additional expenses. This is a reward. He’s getting a $250,000 reward for murdering an unarmed black kid, two days away from starting college, in broad daylight.
Reasonable people can disagree on things, and certainly, we can learn a lot from spirited discussion. But if your opinion is basically, “This wouldn’t really be an issue if the people affected would just shut up about it,” well, God, Jed. I don’t even want to know you.
I am regularly asking myself “what would Mrs. Landingham have to say about this?”