eoporto

Feb 2

Heart you, NY.

Kevin Brennan, the cop that was shot in Bushwick the other night, graduated high school with me.

These Facebook comments are really putting a damper on my renewed faith in people over the nearly 1 million dollars donated to Planned Parenthood.

“Do you mind if I literally throw myself at you?”

This is the opening line that Lilly McElroy tries with men whom she has deemed suitably solid to catch her. They usually laugh and then say no. But about a quarter of the time they say yes. And this is the result

Reasons I love this -
1. Have you ever launched yourself through the air at someone? I have. It is the most fun thing ever.2. This comment on the slideshow will have me LOLing for DAYS.

This is what’s wrong with our Country, do you call this Art? In that case my Chihuahua deserves an Oscar. I’ve seen this before,SNL Mary Catherine Gallagher SUPERSTAR!!!!!!!

3. You shouldn’t need anymore reasons.

“Do you mind if I literally throw myself at you?”

This is the opening line that Lilly McElroy tries with men whom she has deemed suitably solid to catch her. They usually laugh and then say no. But about a quarter of the time they say yes. And this is the result

Reasons I love this -

1. Have you ever launched yourself through the air at someone? I have. It is the most fun thing ever.
2. This comment on the slideshow will have me LOLing for DAYS.

This is what’s wrong with our Country, do you call this Art? In that case my Chihuahua deserves an Oscar. I’ve seen this before,SNL Mary Catherine Gallagher SUPERSTAR!!!!!!!

3. You shouldn’t need anymore reasons.

I’m sorry I find your sex life so amusing.

Via someecards

Feb 1

Sometimes, I confuse even myself.

me: I would murder someone for that caprese salad.
H: [blank stare]
me: [laughing]
me: [almost walk into a wall]
me: [not laughing anymore]

Josh Beckerman, a k a the Foodie Magician, is to give a tour of Chinatown on Sunday.

I didn’t think I could laugh this hard without passing out

I really like my new shirt and making vaguely foolish faces.

What Bookstore Sections Should Actually Be Called

My glasses are just a prop
I really liked The DaVinci Code
I need something to read when I’m alone in bed and I’m too tired to blog.
If they can survive this horrible tragedy, I should be able to go to the gym at 6:30am
It will never taste like Mario Batali made this for you.
Oh shit. Am I supposed to bring a present tonight?
I hope my “novel” gets featured on an endcap someday.
Art Books for people who still drink box wine
Mommy wishes Daddy was more romantic
This is discounted for a reason
Free Thesaurus included
I daydream about Ayn Rand having a blog
Calendars you have to search with your eyes
LOL Magazines still get printed

Jan 31

rachelfershleiser:

Felicity Huffman and Aaron Sorkin (doused in champagne) - last day of Sports Night (via img.ly)

The only thing missing from this photo is Casey McCall.

I so badly want to be curled up on that sofa with a good book and cute guy.

eoporto

i put things here. also twitter

Sometimes, I confuse even myself.

What Bookstore Sections Should Actually Be Called