eoporto


  1. I am not influenced by books. Instead, I am shaped by them. I am made of flesh and bone and blood. I am also made of books.

    Roxane Gay

    I am very much made of books.

  2. Today’s defeat tastes like cereal for dinner at 10:30.

    Oof.

  3. Siri has the quiet desperation in her voice of a woman who was clearly forced to pick between pursuing her career and raising her kids.

    Once, my phone cut off a nice chat I was having with my grandma; not once did it have the courtesy to cut off drunk calls I made to exes at 2am.

    Snapchat still has not made an option to automatically reply to unsolicited dick pics with a sad trombone noise.

    Is My iPhone a Tool of the Patriarchy? Notes From an Investigation

  4. TAFT HAVE YOU HEARD OF THIS STANDARD OIL BUSINESS
    yes, sir
    THEY’RE A MONOPOLY
    yes, sir
    THAT ISN’T SPORTING AT ALL
    no, sir
    BRING ME STANDARD OIL
    I’M GOING TO PUNCH IT MANFULLY IN THE FACE
    sir, Standard Oil is a trust, not a person
    you can’t punch a trust in the face
    OH CAN’T I
    TAFT, WATCH ME BECOME THE FIRST MAN TO PUNCH A TRUST IN THE FACE
    THEN WRITE IT DOWN
    IN YOUR OFFICIAL WHITE HOUSE NOTES
    “TODAY THE PRESIDENT PUNCHED A TRUST IN THE FACE”
    all right
    “QUITE SOUNDLY TOO”
    I will
    “WITH AN EXCELLENT RIGHT UPPER CROSS”
    yes, sir
    “CAN’T PUNCH A TRUST IN THE FACE”
    FORSOOTH
    I’M THE PRESIDENT
    I CAN PUNCH ANYTHING

    Dirtbag Teddy Roosevelt is the best thing ever.

  5. Such a fucking art student - @snugzs when I stopped to take this photo.

    Such a fucking art student - @snugzs when I stopped to take this photo.

  6. #spaghetti

    #spaghetti

  7. #bleachercreatures🍻

    #bleachercreatures🍻