I am very much made of books.
Siri has the quiet desperation in her voice of a woman who was clearly forced to pick between pursuing her career and raising her kids.
Once, my phone cut off a nice chat I was having with my grandma; not once did it have the courtesy to cut off drunk calls I made to exes at 2am.
Snapchat still has not made an option to automatically reply to unsolicited dick pics with a sad trombone noise.
TAFT HAVE YOU HEARD OF THIS STANDARD OIL BUSINESS
THEY’RE A MONOPOLY
THAT ISN’T SPORTING AT ALL
BRING ME STANDARD OIL
I’M GOING TO PUNCH IT MANFULLY IN THE FACE
sir, Standard Oil is a trust, not a person
you can’t punch a trust in the face
OH CAN’T I
TAFT, WATCH ME BECOME THE FIRST MAN TO PUNCH A TRUST IN THE FACE
THEN WRITE IT DOWN
IN YOUR OFFICIAL WHITE HOUSE NOTES
“TODAY THE PRESIDENT PUNCHED A TRUST IN THE FACE”
“QUITE SOUNDLY TOO”
“WITH AN EXCELLENT RIGHT UPPER CROSS”
“CAN’T PUNCH A TRUST IN THE FACE”
I’M THE PRESIDENT
I CAN PUNCH ANYTHING